One afternoon some years ago I was discussing my resistance to writing with a good friend, an extraordinarily competent person. Despite having just gone through an earth-shaking experience, I couldn't mobilize the energy to write. There were years of accumulated data to digest, which seemed a heavy burden. And new information was constantly turning up.

He suggested, "Why not start in the middle? Make 'now' the middle, and go on from there."

There was something appealing about the idea -- probably the freshness of the approach, since I tend to be stodgy and quite organized most of the time. Maybe the uniqueness of such a start would loosen some of the strands of creativity. But yet -- I wasn't ready. There was still a major problem.

The experience just behind me was one of the most powerful of my life. But how would it turn out?

I have been blessed by many outstanding, profound experiences in my life. But there is something more important than having experiences, wonderful as they may be. I wished these marvelous states of realization to stay with me all the time. The trouble was, most of the time I found myself back in what Aldous Huxley called my "old stinking, sweating self." Not entirely; there was always some change. But not as much as I wanted. Would my enthusiasm over this last profound experience fade away as had the others?

Over the two months following this very special experience, a fascinating change began to evolve. I found more and more how to maintain the exalted state I had been seeking. It was so fulfilling that I knew I must begin to write.

This special event modified my whole approach to learning. To describe this occasion in an appropriate perspective, I wish to go back in time and retrace the events that led to this experience.

My spiritual awakening started around 1950, when I was 30 years old. It's difficult to focus on that time of my life without invoking the uncomfortable feelings I underwent almost continuously. I was extraordinarily neurotic, completely shut up within myself. I lived mostly inside my head, in fantasy. Extremely sensitive, I was self-conscious and uncomfortable most of the time. Many people were difficult to be around. I was so involved with myself that I hardly noticed others. Yet it was extremely important for me to have other people's acceptance, to the extent that I often found it difficult to express what I truly thought and felt in fear of incurring disfavor. So I repressed an enormous amount of anger. Because of my continual discomfort, I was constantly alert for any method to ease the pain.

I had a few good qualities. I was reasonably bright, having graduated first in my high school class and at the local military junior college in my home town of Roswell, New Mexico. At Stanford University, I was granted both a Phi Beta Kappa key and a Tau Beta Pi key in recognition of outstanding scholarship in both the arts and in engineering. I was also awarded a couple of fellowships which allowed me to take a year of graduate study in electrical engineering and get a master's degree.

One of my innate gifts, which I didn't recognize until recently, is an excellent sense of balance, of appropriateness, which has always allowed me to keep things in proper perspective. This helped lead to a successful career in industry. I had an excellent sense of the warranted time and energy each department should expend in accomplishing corporate objectives. I was also able to get members of different departments to understand each other and their functions, and how they could best work together to iron out operational difficulties.

My major vocational accomplishment was growing up with Ampex Corporation. Ampex started as a very small, obscure firm manufacturing electric motors and grew into a world leader in the field of magnetic recording. I progressed from design engineer of magnetic recording components to production engineer to application engineer to Director of Instrumentation Sales to Assistant to the President for Long Range Planning.

It was in the last position that I had my first encounter with LSD. At the time I was familiar with the frontiers of many technological fields of knowledge, for we were designing special magnetic recording equipment to aid research in most of those fields: telemetering essential information from missiles and aircraft that would aid in making design decisions, automotive engineering, geophysical exploration, recording the output of various sensing devices in laboratories, computers, and finally developing the world's first successful video tape recorder. I felt abreast of most scientific developments. Yet after my first LSD experience, I stated with confidence about LSD: "This is the greatest discovery that man has ever made." While I have learned a great deal in the ensuing years about proper use and misuse of this substance, nothing has ever brought into question the accuracy of this evaluation.

There were several key events that led me to LSD. The first commenced one afternoon when I received a phone call from Clarence. Clarence was both a neighbor and a mechanical engineer at Ampex. He was a very quiet, likable, unassuming fellow whom I found it very easy to be with. We found we could very naturally discuss many areas involving depth of meaning not encountered in usual social conversations.

Clarence was going to a series of lectures, and he thought I would enjoy the speaker. It had been many years since I had attended a lecture. I was completely focused on work and contributing what I could to help a new, budding company get started and grow healthily. I felt ready for a change of pace. Since I trusted Clarence's judgment and liked being with him, I agreed to attend.

The lectures were held in a small library in South Palo Alto, just off the Stanford campus. The lecturer was Harry Rathbun, a professor of business law at Stanford University. Harry was a striking individual -- tall, handsome, graying, with a remarkably saintly demeanor. Kindness and concern exuded from him. And he was a commanding speaker. I didn't find out until later that students at Stanford University had voted him a favorite among teachers. His last class of the year in business law, where he discussed personal ethics and values, overflowed with students coming from all over the school to hear his now-famous address.

His lectures hit me between the eyes. As he started, and warmed up to his topic, I found I was starved for the information he was imparting. After the first lecture, I could not possibly miss the remaining five. I didn't remember ever being as stimulated by a speaker. I hung on his every word.

The theme of his lectures was: Who are we? Where are we going? Are we still evolving? Do we have any evidence to answer these questions? I hadn't realized it, but I was deeply concerned about these topics. Perhaps the more so because I had pushed such consid erations totally out of my life while I established a profession and a career in magnetic recording. I was as ready as hot sand in the desert for rainfall.

Harry convinced me of the enormity of human potential, of the necessity to wake up and take charge of our evolution, that we had a hallowed destiny, and that we could reach it by taking charge of our personal growth. I was thrilled by the picture that he painted.

Then he threw me a curve. In his last lecture, he addressed the means by which we could begin to accomplish this splendid goal. It was by studying the teachings of Jesus!

As a Jew, I felt I had been led down a garden path. What a sneaky trap! I was infuriated. Yet I had been deeply touched. So the following year, when Harry Rathbun led a series of discussion groups, I was drawn to them once more. When I set aside my bias against Jesus and my feelings about what has happened to Jews around the world in his name, I found what was proposed very much to my liking. We followed a text Jesus as Teacher by Henry Burton Sharman.(2) The author had spent thirty years critically examining biblical texts, extracting what he believed to be the essence of Jesus's teachings. We examined this book with a hard-headed, down-to-earth approach to answer the questions: Do his teachings make any sense? Has he found any truth? Is there any value there for us as individuals in leading our personal lives?

I found I very much enjoyed participating in this examination, and joined a discussion group. I liked working in the group, the friendships that arose, the challenge of the material, and the answers that began to emerge with ever-growing clarity and power. A two-week seminar led by Harry Rathbun and his wife Emilia greatly intensified our search and discussions. By the time the seminar was over, I experienced true love for others for the first time in my life, and became convinced of the power of the message of Jesus. When his teachings were separated from the frills, beliefs, and projections, the impact was enormous. I was inescapably led to the conclusion that the most important thing I can do with my life is to commit myself to the will of God. A great deal of the discussion focused on what this meant and how to do it.

It was while attending this seminar that I had my first real mystical experience. One evening, lying on the floor of the lodge where we met, I was looking up through the glass skylight at the redwood trees beautifully illuminated by moonlight, listening to Gregorian chants. I suddenly felt a pain in my chest -- a deep, profound feeling that was ecstatic despite the pain. Never before had I encountered such a feeling. It was from another dimension. I knew with absolute conviction that I was being touched by God.

Previously I had been willing to believe in God, but my belief was speculation. Now I was convinced that God was real, and that I could experience His very Presence!

I was enormously moved by the impact of this discovery. I started getting up every morning to meditate, and my experiences immediately became intense and insightful. At the same time, I began reading every important book on psychology and mysticism that I could get my hands on.

It is no wonder, then, that I joined this group and became an active member. I served several years on the planning committee, which comprised the most dedicated of the followers. We not only served as a management advisory council for the organization known as the Sequoia Seminar, but conducted many activities for our own self-growth.

I might be with them yet, if another powerfully influential figure had not strolled into my life.

I have been most fortunate in meeting several outstanding people in my life. Gerald Heard was certainly one of them. My first encounter with him was hearing him lecture.

Gerald was a good personal friend of Harry and Emelia Rathbun, the leaders of the Sequoia Seminar with whom I was deeply involved at the time. Gerald was probably one of the world's outstanding contemporary mystics, and was responsible for personally introducing Aldous Huxley to Eastern thought. This exposure made such a profound impression on Huxley that it completely altered the direction of his writing.

Gerald was a prolific writer himself, and wrote with great insight on humankind's evolutionary and spiritual development. One of his books, Preface to Prayer, made an enormous impact on me, opening my eyes to the possibility of other levels of reality beyond my usual engineering-focused concepts. Gerald also wrote very meaningfully on the subject of contemplative prayer, such as Training for the Life of the Spirit. Such works further reinforced my confidence in the reality of mystical levels of experience.

But what really struck me about Gerald was his power as a speaker. Although slight of build, he had a commanding voice and appearance. With his thoughtful face and handsome beard, he looked like a sage, and the beautiful flow of words that came from him proved that he was. In perfect diction, extraordinarily expressive prose, and with the accent and voice of authority that only an Englishman can muster, his words came across forming beautiful images and profound stirrings of understanding. Gerald specialized in conceptual thinking, so that he was a master of tying together various elements of human exploration and understanding to form higher and higher levels of significance. I found listening to him to be truly transport ing.

I was so impressed with Gerald that I went to visit him in Pacific Palisades whenever my company business took me to Los Angeles, which was rather frequently. So when Gerald led a two-week seminar at the Sequoia Seminar lodge, I was delighted to attend. It was a dynamic, growth-stimulating, inspiring seminar. This image that I have retained through the years perhaps best gives the flavor of it:

Gerald would come into the meeting room, which was hexagonal in shape, with windows all around giving excellent views of the surrounding hills and redwood trees. The group of some twenty persons sat opposite him as he took his chair near the center. He always came in with a huge sheaf of papers which he placed in his lap. He would then start his discourse, and for two hours he would flow like a fountain, his statements perfectly arranged, in exquisitely composed poetic prose. He spoke mostly of spiritual growth and development. An outstanding scholar, he was familiar with most of the works in the spiritual literature. He would quote names and dates, and often whole stanzas of poetry, without once looking at the papers he brought with him. It was as though his hand resting on the manila folder holding his papers made sufficient contact to draw up all the wisdom they contained.

An example of his creativity and the extreme fluidity of his mind came in an evening gathering. At dinner, one of the more aggressive and humorous members of our group said, "Gerald, why don't you spice things up a bit tonight and talk about SEX?" Everyone, including Gerald, laughed.

That evening, at every opportunity, he wove into the fabric of his discourse anecdotes regarding women in the early history of the church. He covered the trials and tribulations of the sexes attempting to relate, especially in regard to celibacy and the difficulties of maintaining it in the interest of spiritual growth. His penetrating insight and good humor kept us all laughing.

One evening when I was visiting Gerald in his home in Pacific Palisades, he went on at length about the outstanding virtues of LSD. I could hardly believe him; I could not understand why a person of his gifts who could freely explore the cosmos with his mind would want to take a drug. He gave me excellent assurance of the value of this approach in a letter, and gave me the name of that strange Canadian who came down and sometimes administered LSD to him and Aldous Huxley. The man was Al Hubbard.

Hubbard didn't often cross my mind until Alexander Poniatoff, the Chairman of the Board of Ampex, with whom I was intimately related for a number of years, told me of meeting this fabulous character in Canada. The stories Al related concerning people he had cured using LSD were quite outlandish. This second exposure to Hubbard piqued my interest, and I wrote a long letter to Al concerning my spiritual aspirations and requesting more information about LSD. My letter must have impressed him, as it wasn't long until Al Hubbard called on me in person at Ampex.

Hubbard made a deeper impression on me than anyone I had ever met. It was an impression that radically altered my whole value-belief system, and completely changed the course of my life.

Hubbard ran into psychedelics in the early 1950's, when he became a research subject for experiments employing mescaline at the University of Vancouver. With his great sensitivity and free, intuitive mind, Al readily achieved remarkable experiences of mystical levels and enormous depths of understanding. Fully aware of the potential of such experiences, he used his very appreciable entrepreneurial abilities to acquire copious supplies of LSD.

Al developed what came to be know as "the overwhelming dose technique," discussed in Stanislov Grof's book LSD Psychotherapy under the heading Psychedelic Therapy. He experimented widely, and reported excellent results in treating alcoholics and helping many others with serious emotional problems. He won the support of psychiatrists Humphry Osmond and Abram Hoffer in Saskatchewan by demonstrating that LSD was not a psychotomimetic as designated by the medical profession. Hubbard was able to help them set up appropriate methods employing LSD to treat alcoholism. With his outstanding success, he dedicated himself to teaching others how to employ this new tool. His enterprise ultimately led him to my office at Ampex.

What a contrast between he and me! Here I was, slight of build, deadly serious, extremely introverted, trembling at whether others approved of me or not, anxious to follow all the rules and conventions of society. And here was he, large in body, constantly grinning, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, turning everything into fun. He was voracious in his appetites for all that life had to offer, and a great belittler of all that ordinary persons held dear. What a combination -- my staid character that didn't wish to tread on anyone's toes, and he, constantly looking how to upset the status quo and produce some excitement.

Hubbard was warm and engaging, and a great story teller. There was so little warmth in my own life that I was rapidly roped in. And he was an expert in discerning one's weaknesses, and playing upon them to advantage. Which meant that he could be most appealing and charming if his aim was to build a friendship.

He had powerful tools to reinforce his own canniness. That first day, he took me to a motel where he and his wife and another traveling companion, a close friend of the family, were staying. He gave me a tablet of methedrine, which I had never before had, and then introduced me to Meduna's mixture of 70% oxygen and 30% carbon dioxide.(4) No doubt reading me quite accurately, he gave me only a few breaths, but it was enough to give me a glimpse, and especially a feeling, of another world. The contact was magical, and was retained and reinforced through the remainder of the day by the methedrine I had ingested. Never before had I felt such euphoria. And with his exciting stories, I was completely convinced that I had to try LSD.

Taking LSD with Hubbard meant going to Canada. Our first meeting had occurred in February, and Al wanted me to wait until spring when we could go to his island, a beautiful 28 acre wooded stretch of land in the Vancouver Gulf. However, I was too impatient, so he consented to let me come in April, and I had my first LSD experience in his apartment, April 12, 1956.

By the time I undertook this experience, I had talked at length with Al and had read a number of reports. I had no trouble accepting that our minds are infinite, that the total memories of our life are stored in and available in our unconscious, that our inner being is eternal and through it we can explore past lives, the evolution of our planet and our universe, and understand the workings of the cosmos. I was eager to verify these things for myself.

I was prepared for the experience by taking some additional inhalations of the Meduna 30-70 mixture, and on the morning of my experience, was introduced to Monsignor Brown, archbishop of the local Catholic Diocese. Father Brown gave his blessing for my journey and promised to remember me at noon Mass, when I would be in the heart of my venture.

I was given about 66 micrograms of LSD procured from the original manufacturer, Sandoz Pharmaceuticals. Al, his wife Rita, and an associate of Al's in this work, Bill Galleon, were my guides who supported me through this experience. The following are excerpts from my notes made a few days following the experience:

The impact that this experience had on me was enormous. We talk about the unconscious, and think we know what it is. But to suddenly be confronted with powerful unconscious material, to know that the unconscious is really real, to realize the utter power of it and not to have so much as a clue as to the root or nature of it!!

And the revelations also included profound realizations that God is absolutely real, and that there is only One Person, of which we are all a part. I held LSD to be the most important discovery man has ever made, and would devote my life to learning more about it and how to use it effectively, not only for myself but for others.

The next few years were spent in a number of exploratory avenues. There was no question that I was a zealot. I saw experiences like mine bringing answers to all of the world's problems, and providing humankind with the powerful tools needed for growth and development. There was much to learn. Who would be adequate subjects for this kind of exploration? How successful would such experiences be with different kinds of individuals? What would be the best procedures for utilizing such a powerful and outstanding tool?

First I went to my close associates in the Sequoia Seminar. While some of them had interesting and worthwhile experiences with LSD, they didn't particularly care for my now bosom buddy, Al Hubbard. They saw him as an enormous egotist; they were repulsed by his fun-loving manner which made light of their serious approach to life.

We formed an LSD research group, but there was dissension among the members. Each had a different plan, and was ready to substitute his/her personal speculations for Hubbard's extensive experience. To me, none of the plans showed promise compared to Hubbard's direct approach with proven results. So I moved out on my own.

I had been leading a Sequoia Seminar type discussion group for a couple of years, and was very close to all the members of the group. They decided to try LSD. One Monday night a member of the group would take LSD, and the rest of us would support her or him. The following Monday night the subject would share in detail his/her experience, and the following week we would proceed to the next member. All of the experiences were fruitful and valuable. We began to see differences in the responses of individuals, and the fact that there was a great variety of response, varying from psychological dynamics to mystical realizations.

I grew confident in my understanding of how to work with this substance, and verified that LSD was not a psychotomimetic as the medical profession claimed. I also understood why they made the claim. I see two major factors. If one has no understanding of the vast dimensions of the mind beyond ordinary experience (such as extra-sensory perception) or of the spiritual basis of reality, one might feel that experiencing such actualities is insanity.

The second factor involves the manner in which the experience is accepted. We found the action of the drug often worked to dissolve powerfully held false beliefs or painfully repressed or frightening feelings. This action often met with powerful resistance on the part of the subject. Surrendering to such experiences led to profound new understanding. Determined resistance, however, led to much pain and suffering, and sometimes escape into psychotic-type episodes. To avoid such discomfort, it is extremely important to approach psychedelic substances with good motivation, openness, and with a sincere desire to learn.

In the LSD state, it is possible to reach levels where the mind is sharp and clear. Fresh ideas and perspectives flow unhindered, presenting many new possibilities, often of great value. I felt that such heightened perceptions could be valuable in improving business operations. So I began to search for ways to utilize LSD at Ampex Corporation. At this time, I was Assistant to the President in Charge of Long Range Planning, and was a member of the Ampex Management Committee that reviewed and often arrived at management decisions for the Corporation. I made my proposal to the group, and immediately encountered enormous resistance. There was great fear of trying unknown substances on as delicate an organ as the brain. My own experience and that of Hubbard were completely discounted. I was too naive to understand why. So I went ahead on my own, selecting a group of engineers who were good friends and interested in the experiment. With the help of Hubbard and a physician friend, eight subjects underwent the experience at a cabin in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. There was a wide range of experiences, but all were impressed with the enormous openings of the mind, the ability to experience new levels of thought and comprehension, the gain in self-knowledge, and in some cases, the ability to solve technical problems. But much to my amazement, the results were totally ignored by management. I was to learn later that a member of our Board of Directors was also on the Board of the Palo Alto Research Center. He was strongly advised by the latter group to completely discourage me from this work, as I had no medical or therapeutic training.

My experience continued to grow, and I was awed at the ability to learn of mental processes well beyond my previous understanding. I also began to understood the enormous fear most persons had of psychedelic substances. Almost everyone has an innate fear of encountering the unconscious, as the unconscious mind contains much material that we wish to hide from ourselves. The fear and discomfort is often greater for professionals, who place great store on their special training. They cannot be sure how their values and functioning will appear in the light of cosmic truth. Dr. Abram Hoffer in Canada, who worked with LSD in the 1950s, found that ministers, psychologists, and psychiatrists often had the most uncomfortable experiences.

A key experience came for me in 1959, when I took a much larger dose than usual, 150 micrograms, Al deeming that I was ready for it. The outstanding event of this experience was a dramatic breakthrough in which I was shown that Jesus was God, and that I was God! With this realization I broke down completely and sobbed and sobbed without letup for fifteen minutes. Later I sat down to play the piano, and played as I have never played before. I felt that I was playing the music as the composer realized it, and able to express the marvelous depth of feeling the composer was portraying. This experience led to a quantum-step improvement in my ability to play the piano, which remained with me from that time on.

I had now gathered enough understanding that it was imperative to spend full time at this research. In 1961 I resigned from Ampex, set up a non-profit corporation which I boldly and naively named the International Foundation for Advanced Study, and located offices and research space in the town of Menlo Park, California, where I lived. I was encouraged in this step by several good friends familiar with the potential of psychedelics, and who later joined the staff of the Foundation.

With the help of Al Hubbard, we succeeded in obtaining Charles Savage as our Medical Director. Dr. Savage was a psychiatrist who had done some research with psychedelic materials, and looked forward to doing more work in this field.

Over the next 3-1/2 years, some 350 clients were processed through the program at the Foundation. A great deal was discovered about the effective use of these substances and the enormous potential they offer for numerous avenues of research. Dr. Savage assembled a number of volunteers to be part of the research staff which planned and gathered important elements of information. We learned many important principles for conducting psychedelic sessions, selecting subjects, responses to expect, and the follow-up that was required.

An early lesson was the disadvantage of treating only one member of an unhappy marriage. The experience often widened the rift between the couple. We established the policy of requiring both parties to participate. An exception was the case where the untreated party was deemed mature and thoroughly supported the partner through the psychedelic experience and the outcome.

One of our therapists, Don Allen, was a former Ampex engineer. Because of his and my background, we attracted a number of engineers to our program. We found engineers often to be unusually sensitive individuals. Because of their sensitivity, they found many of their early life experiences painful. This resulted in the choice of a vocation that dealt with inanimate objects, sparing further emotional pain. LSD was a marvelous tool for discovering and releasing buried feelings. Through such discoveries, many engineers found the importance of feelings of love and intimacy. These subjects gained substantially in their ability to express feelings and avoid pain through appropriate communication. The result was significant improvement in their marriage relationships and in dealing with their children.

Great gains were made by most subjects in understanding their personal dynamics, improving relationships and communication, improving their ability to function in the workplace, and achieving an enhanced sense of well-being. Many reached rewarding levels of spiritual realization, recognizing the harmony and oneness of life, and the power of love to resolve problems and conflicts.

About one half those treated for alcoholism stopped drinking after a single LSD experience. Even with those not cured, there were some salutary effects. One alcoholic subject declared our treatment a failure, as he started drinking again within a week. "Alcoholics Anonymous was the real cure," he told me. Before he came to us, he had staunchly refused any contact with AA.

We used several instruments to assess change as a result of undergoing a psychedelic experience in the Foundation program. The most definitive results came from the use of a test called the MMPI, or Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. This test is commonly used by psychologists to assess personality patterns. It is "well-constructed, empirically-derived, and extensively validated." (See Appendix I, Mogar and Savage, 1964.) Typical scales of assessment are ego strength, anxiety, repression, rigidity, prejudice, ego overcontrol, neurotic over- and under- control, and evaluation of improvement.

Robert Mogar, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology at San Francisco State College, had a great deal of experience in assessing the results obtained with the MMPI. Robert joined the Foundation research staff to aid in assessing changes in subjects undergoing the psychedelic experience. Participants were tested with the MMPI before their experience, two months after, and six months after their experience.

In the historical use of the MMPI to assess improvement in various kinds of therapy, studies have reported slight or unreliable changes, or at best slight but significant changes only in cases that were judged clinically improved. One investigator had judged that the MMPI must be insensitive to improvement, since the findings were consistently negative.

Much to Robert's surprise, as he compared tests before and after the LSD experience, there were significant shifts in scales, even those held by the profession to be fairly stable. He reported that these shifts were greater than any he had previously seen. All groups tested showed significant improvement over the pre-treatment test at the two month mark. While the most disturbed group showed some regression to their previous state at the six months test, they were still improved at this time. The improvement for the more moderate groups held up quite well at six months. These results were obtained on subjects who had undergone only a single psychedelic experience.

A detailed description of the results using the MMPI evaluations is given in the paper Mogar and Savage, 1964, Appendix I. Other aspects of the studies conducted by the Foundation research staff have been published in appropriate medical journals. These papers are listed in Appendix I.

I must comment, however, on an aspect of the work that never failed to impress me. Each morning I would come to work and park in the Menlo Park downtown parking lot which adjoined our building. As I looked up at the suite of offices that had been especially designed to conduct our work (and which resided over a beauty parlor!), I could not help but be awed at the enormous contrast between what was taking place in these offices and the understanding of the people parking in the lot below. Twice a week, two or more individuals were exploring ranges of perception and understanding beyond the comprehension of most persons in our society. Those doing their downtown shopping had no idea of what transpired in these offices.

In industry, if one should be so fortunate as to advance the state of the art with some new discovery, it is usually only a matter of months -- at most a year or two -- before competitors find a solution and offer the same development. But despite the important new knowledge being revealed regarding the human mind, there was little curiosity in our work.

I had another extremely important personal experience during this time. The circumstances were indeed odd.

Back in those days, the very thought of encountering my unconscious and levels of truth would fill me with profound anxiety. But this time the circumstances were simple. My good friend Al sent me down an ampoule of LSD that had been put up by another chemical firm, and asked me to try it to see how it compared to that manufactured by Sandoz. So I flew to the desert with our good friend Jerome.

Jerome was a very large, good-looking, very personable fellow. He was great fun to be with, but a bit unscrupulous in his dealings in used machinery. He and Al had a lot in common and made a great pair. Jerome agreed to fly me over, and we drove to Death Valley in the 1962 Impala I kept at the desert airport.

Since my goal was simply to evaluate the activity of the new ampoule, I was under no pressure to solve problems or deal with uncomfortable feelings. I imbibed in the sands of the Valley floor, and when I felt the effect, Jerome drove me back to Lone Pine. Here is what happened:

For days I was walking on air. But the exuberance of this state departed, and once more I was back, as Aldous Huxley has described, in "my old stinking self." However, I could never forget the true significance of it, and would forever address myself to achieving this state on a more enduring basis. It would take a number of years to discover the requirements to reach and maintain this state.

As the work of the Foundation progressed, there were a few professional foundations who became interested in what we were doing, and we received some invitations to apply for grants for specific kinds of research. However, with the advent of Timothy Leary and the enormous adverse publicity created by his activities, the scientific interest in this field evaporated. At one point, San Francisco State College responded favorably to the request of members of our Foundation staff to set up a new Institute specifically for psychedelic research. But as the rumble of unfavorable publicity raised to a roar, they no longer wished to be asso ciated with it.

In 1965, Dr. James Goddard was appointed the new director of the FDA. He brought a halt to all LSD research in the nation that was involved with humans and the exploration of consciousness. This terminated the work of the Foundation. We subsisted another year while we submitted a new IND for the use of mescaline, but ultimately this too was denied (the letters IND stand for Investigational New Drug exemption, which is the authorization that permits research to be conducted on new drugs that have not yet been approved by the FDA). Fortunately it permitted sufficient time to do our creativity study, which is considered by many to be an important addition to the body of literature on psychedelic research.

So the Foundation was closed and professional interest in psychedelics lapsed into disfavor. The key psychedelics were placed in Schedule 1 of the Controlled Substances Act of 1970.(6)

The net result of these developments was that no legitimate research was conducted with psychedelic substances for over two decades. All those interested in such compounds have been driven underground, so that the outcome of such work remains generally unknown to the public and other researchers.

The closing of the Foundation was a very crippling blow to me. It was hard to accept a world that rejected research that offered so much promise for the general welfare. It was extremely difficult to turn away from activities which were revealing solutions to humanity's most pressing problems and deepest needs.

My wounds slowly healed and I adjusted to a much more ordinary life. This included divorcing my first wife, getting remarried, and reconciling to a new wife and an adopted eleven year old daughter. It also included finding a comfortable position in industry. My new occupation was managing a small firm that produced sound filmstrips for use in the social studies curriculum of secondary schools.

It would be several years before a new door opened, which would allow me to once more pursue my major interest.

1. My logic is as follows: The most important thing in the universe is Mind, which is infinite and all-comprehensive, and reveals to man his total nature. While many aspects of mind have been discovered by adepts through the ages, including the complete enlightenment of the Buddha, LSD offers the serious, dedicated seeker who searches with integrity access to aspects and levels of mind beyond any other practice or aid of which I know. The only ones who would argue with this conclusion are so adept in their practice that their experience is considerably beyond the grasp of the vast majority of the world's population.
2. Sharman, H. B. Jesus as Teacher. New York and London: Harper and Brothers, 1935.
3. Grof, S. LSD Psychotherapy. Pomona, California: Hunter House, 1980, pp. 32-
4. Meduna, L. J. Carbon Dioxide Therapy. Springfield, Ill.: Charles C. Thomas, 1950. Meduna discovered that inhaling a mixture of 70% oxygen and 30% carbon dioxide provided an experience of an altered state of consciousness, often accompanied by substantial abreaction. With proper preparation and administration, he found that clients could be helped considerably to become free of their neuroses.

   Inhaling a sufficient number of breaths of this mixture has the effect of dissolving the resistances holding down repressed feelings, permitting their expression. There is usually a rapid succession of imagery, and the discharge of feelings is often accompanied by a considerable amount of insight. In our Foundation work with clients, we found that several treatments with this mixture was an excellent procedure to introduce novices to altered states of consciousness. Many discovered unconscious contents of their mind for the first time. The procedure also cleared away a good deal of repressed material, thus freeing the subject for a smoother, more profound psychedelic experience.

5. Harman, W. W., McKim, R. H., Mogar, R. E., Fadiman, J., and Stolaroff, M. "Psychedelic Agents in Creative Problem-Solving: A Pilot Study." Psychological Reports 19:211-227, 1966.
6. The requirements for a substance to be placed in Schedule I are as follows:

   (A). The drug or other substance has a high potential for abuse.

   (B). The drug or other substance has no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States.

   (C). There is a lack of accepted safety for use of the drug or other substance under medical supervision.

   Schedule 1 items are illegal to possess, and from a practical standpoint it has been impossible to conduct research with them. While there are provisions for conducting research with Schedule I materials, they are so complex and stringent that most researchers prefer to work in other areas. Research with Schedule I materials also requires that the FDA approve the research protocol, and for many years it has been extremely difficult to obtain such approval for psychedelic-type materials. Review boards for research protocols are generally chosen from well-known experts in the field being investigated. In the case of psychedelics this has not been the case. The members of the medical community chosen to sit in judgment on these protocols seldom have had first-hand knowledge and experience with such substances and have not been favorable to allowing research to proceed.

   In recent times, a more receptive attitude has been demonstrated both by the FDA and NIDA, the National Institute of Drug Abuse. They have announced a willingness to consider carefully prepared protocols for psychedelic research, and hopefully some projects may soon be started.

   What is required are qualified researchers who are sufficiently committed to the process to design satisfactory projects and patiently shepherd them through the various steps required to obtain the IND which authorizes such research to be conducted. It may also require considerable effort to round up the necessary funds to support the work.